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.hope & faith.

it calls us to be patient.
it gives us strength & confidence
to run the race,
fight the good fight,
and endure the trials of this life.
it is the assurance of things hoped for.
it is a confident expectation & desire for good things in the future.
it is the conviction of things unseen.
some of these [unseen] are not in the future.
faith can look back to creation as well as forward.
faith is the big idea.
it includes hope.
but it is more than that.
hope is faith in future tense.
hope that is seen is not hope.
who hopes for what he sees?
we hope for what we do not see.
we wait for it with patience.

i am a prisoner of hope.
[zechariah 9:12]
i love how this verse changes our perspective.
it takes a word with negative connotations
and turns it into something positive.
something beautiful.
hope is a promise.
a covenant.
one that won't be broken.
it will be fulfilled.
one day.
be patient.


.be brave.

war horse.
a truly beautiful movie.
a story you won't soon forget.
a story about a horse and his boy.
a story of bravery.
a story of kindness.
a story of loyalty.
a story of friendship.
my emotions played tug of war with my heart.
i laughed.
i cried.
i felt the pain of loss and the joy of life.
it was simply breathtaking.
i might start crying again just thinking about it.
what are you still doing sitting there?
go see it now!


.i love birthdays.

i love birthdays.
i love celebrating other people.
or in this case, my dog.
your family might not celebrate your dog's birthday,
but we sure do.
our pup is part of our family.
she's got a personality and quirks 
just like we do.
and we love her.
she's a comforter.
she's understanding.
she's playful.
she's funny.
she likes to pretend she's a reindeer.
she loves unconditionally.
she has eyes that exude love.
it's like looking into her soul.
and she will forever be a puppy at heart.


.expect the {un}expected.

he didn't come the way we expected.
he didn't come as a warrior.
the way people dreamed he would.
he came as a child.
a baby.
so vulnerable.
so helpless.
he came as one of us
that he might live among us.
that he might feel what we feel.
he had to be made like his brothers 
in every respect, 
so that he might become
 a merciful and faithful high priest
 in the service of God,
to make propitiation
 for the sins of the people.
[hebrews 2:17]
he didn't come the way we expected.
he didn't come the way we wanted.
he came the way we needed.
although we couldn't see the big picture at the time.
he knew what was best.
he always knows what is best.


.christmas cheer.

the countdown to christmas
{and many other exciting events}
has begun.
so expect lots of christmasy{ness}. 
yeah, i just made up a word.
deal with it.
so we all know how much i love music.
what you might not know is how much i love christmas.
which means i'm head over heels for christmas music.
you followin' me?
now since we're all gettin' into the christmas spirit,
{i've been there for a month now}
i'd like to share some of my favorite christmas songs.
or songs to listen to at christmas,
if you will.
or anytime really.
christmas in july?
now i'm just confusing myself.
here we go.
{the rescues}
[all that i want for christmas]


.{christmas} extravaganza.

thank you, alison womack
for calling me at 11:30 tonight
to tell me that dave barnes' new video was out.
reason #112 why i think you're awesome.
we discovered that after 5 wonderful years,
dave is no longer going to be dressing 
up in ugly christmas sweaters
or pretending to be santa
while saying insane things
and singing off key.
we will miss your craziness 
in the christmases to come.
thanks for the memories.
merry christmas.


.back in the day.

this reminds me of my childhood.
i never had an epic feather pillow fight.
but i did grow up with a bunch of boys.
playing in the woods every day.
dressing up.
tennessee style.
ya know, with coonskin caps and all.
back when davy crockett & daniel boone were our heroes.
building forts.
going on missions.
crawling through the briar patches.
exploring until the sun went down.
the days when our imaginations ran wild.
there was nothing we could not do.
we were unstoppable.
we were fearless.
we were adventurers.



.just a few things.

here's a list.
a list for fall.
things to do.
most are complete.
who wants to hold my hand
and get cozy?



i love fall.
{revisit} the reasons {why}.
i just did and laughed at my bffls comments.
i can't believe how quickly time passes.
i took a drive.
as it is a favorite past time of mine.
driving & listening to good music
while taking in the beautiful colors of 
each year.
without fail.
i am always in awe of this season.
when the trees essentially die for a time.
the beauty and grace they portray
while being stripped bare is 
but let's be honest. 
some leaves are more beautiful than others.
more vibrant.
the more water they get,
the more nutrients they soak up,
the more colorful they will be.
until all their leaves are gone
and they continue just {being} for a season.
faithfully remaining until springtime
when they will be renewed
and brought back to life.
our lives go through seasons like that.
and we get through them because we have the
{living water}
soak it up.
it's what keeps us alive.
keeps us shining from the inside.
keeps us strong & beautiful.
like the trees.
i only hope i can weather the changes
brought my way
as gracefully as these.


.show me.

so this is audrey assad.
i got to work her merch table 
at a concert on friday night.
i'm not going to lie,
i'd never heard her music before.
she gave me her cd
and i played it as soon as i got in my car.
but i didn't get to the last song until today.
this song.
it brought me to tears.
it touched something in my heart.
it whispered feelings i know so well.
i want to be used by {Him}
i want to be known.
i want to live.
i want to love.
but i'm in a place.
a purposeful place.
a place of hardship.
of heartache.
of fears.
a learning place.
learning to trust.
i know i'm here for a reason.
it will be worth it.
so leave me here for right now
and while i'm here,
while i'm learning and growing,
stay with me.
guide me through the darkness
into light.
into life.
{show me}


.brand {new} melodies.

new music.
new artists. 
i love it.
last night i had the privilege of meeting these sweet people.
and hearing music that comes from two beautiful hearts.
this song describes the joy.
the pure joy.
of the day when jesus first came into your life.
don't forget to check out more of their music!
you won't regret it.


.please don't stop the music.

those who know me
know how much i love music.
it speaks to me.
when words fail,
there is music.
i speak in lyrics.
i journal in lyrics.
everything reminds me of a song.
the sister and i watched this movie.
it had been a while.
it gives me chills.
every. time.
this is by far one of my favorite scenes from
{august rush}

{i believe in music the way some people believe in fairytales}


.there is a purpose.

i am where i am {supposed} to be.
i have to tell myself this.
every. single. day.
for i know the plans i have for you, 
declares the LORD, 
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, 
plans to give you hope and a future.
{jeremiah 29:11}


i miss my boys.
i miss my friends.
so many memories.
i ran across something today.
{listened to it a LOT}
it made me laugh.
smile from ear to ear.
and i may have even teared up a little.
don't judge me.
i'm an emotional mess.
not really.
just sometimes.
like today.
so {here} it is.
check it out if you like good music. 
and mountains. 
and colorado.
i sure do.


.who says?.

an autumn weekend.
full of uncontrollable laughter.
giggles with the {bffl}
funny stories.
funny experiences.
{slooooow mooootiooooon}
singing really loud in the car.
and in the aisles of target.
i am not ashamed.
lots of starbucks.
and crafts.
finally checking off some ideas from pinterest.
and just for kicks...

thank you, best friend for a wonderful weekend.
for sharing life with me.
you. are. awesome.
i'm so glad you're my friend.
i wouldn't wanna be anybody else.


.{adventure} is out there.

so throw off the bowlines.
sail away from the safe harbor.
catch the trade winds in your sails.
{mark twain}
i crave it.
i want to travel.
see new places.
new things.
new people.
to explore.
i want to sit by the sea.
climb a mountain.
drive down empty roads.
paddle down a river.
i want to get lost for a while.
i want to keep that spirit of adventure alive.
the one you had when you were a child.
when you were wonderstruck by the world.
by creation.
by the sights, sounds, and smells.
i want to be caught up in the excitement of it all.
i want to be fearless.
i want to set sail on an adventure.
who's with me?

.{country} boy.

i recall a night.
a night of music.
of storytelling.
of laughter.
of tears.
andrew peterson is one of my faves.
he told us a story revolving around this song.
a conversation with his young daughter.
it went something like this.
skye {who was coloring} looked up and said:
"papa. what is this song?"
"this is a song written by one of the greatest songwriters of our time."
"what's is about, papa?"
andrew explains.
"that makes me sad."
{and goes back to coloring}
2 months until andrew peterson in nashville.
2 months until an evening of music.
and storytelling.
2 months.


.you have a {choice}.

my life has been full of discouragement.
discouraging thoughts that i have allowed to seep into my soul.
thinking that i'll never be good enough.
that i'm not worth it.
insecure much?
the list goes on.
but those are all lies.
lies that i allowed myself to believe.
but i know there are a million truths for every lie.
jesus tells me i am worth it.
that i am precious.
and chosen.
and honored.
and loved.
i have a choice.
i won't let the lies of this world rule my life.
i have something better.
something eternal.
i. choose. joy.


.the little things.

it's the little things that matter.
this is what i was reminded of today,
thanks to a text from a pretty neat friend.
life is dumb a lot.
but in the midst of the crumminess,
there is lots of good stuff.
the bible.
your family.
the outdoors.
your cousin.
leaves turning.
try to see God everywhere in the beauty of this life.
His joy.
so good.
thanks for putting things into perspective for me.
i love that you threw nutella in there.
that's so you.


.brave {heart}.

so excited for this movie.
because i love pixar.
and kilts.
and scottish brogue.
and bagpipes.
and rolling hills & mountains.
and rugged coasts.
and misty meadows.
and the lochness monster.
and thistles.
and courageous little people.
and scotland.


.i will sing out {hallelujah}.

all the hearts who are content
and all who feel unworthy
and all who hurt with nothing left
will know that {you} are holy.
in all the seasons of my life
when i'm content,
when i feel unworthy,
when life hurts too much,
 i will cry out hallelujah.
i will speak your name.
i will love you.
worship you.
with all that i am.
{you are my praise}


.i will give you {rest}

it was something i needed more of this summer.
constant exhaustion.
not enough time.
you know that saying,
{no rest for the weary}
well i beg to differ.
there is rest in my Jesus.
and now that i'm home,
i see rest in a new light.
i'm not as exhausted physically.
i'm more exhausted from life in general.
the questions. the fears. the unknown.
rest is defined as:
{relief or freedom, especially from anything that wearies,troubles, or disturbs.}
i love that.
my Jesus allows me to freely come to him, 
and {rest} in his unending love.
he carries all of my burdens.
"come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, 
and i will give you rest.  
take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, 
for i am gentle and lowly in heart, 
and you will find rest for your souls. 
 for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
{matthew 11:28-30}
this is a song i learned this summer.
one that is a constant reminder and comfort to me.

you can rest today.
rest tomorrow.
rest forevermore.
you can find peace today.
peace tomorrow.
peace forevermore. 
we lay down our minds, hearts, & strength & souls
to hear the word of Jesus Christ our Lord.
so come to me.
all of you who are weary
and carry heavy burdens, 
for i will give you rest.
take my yoke.
i am humble  and gentle.
come near and let me teach you
and you will find rest for your souls.
where can i find rest? 
not in accomplishments
forget this striving.
i am done.
i want to find rest in the Son.
{matt musgrave}


.someone like {you}.

i'm back.
back in the land where crickets cry
childen were born to chase fireflies.
i left my rocky mountains behind
for hazy blue hills that appear all around you.
i can't say it's not good to be back in the south,
but i feel like my heart is still in colorado.
i miss the people.
their voices.
their laughs.
i hear them every day.
{yes. i'm hearing voices. somebody help me.}
this summer has left it's mark on my heart and my soul.
i will always remember.
i will continue to grow and learn from it.
dear {elc} friends,
i will never forget you or what we learned from each other.
you have changed me forever.
and i am thankful for someone like {you}.
now go have a new adventure.


.it's time to let you go.

{dear elc}
it seems we only have 2 days left together.
where has the time gone?
thank you for this summer.
for the laughter.
for new friends.
for my crew family.
thanks for the memories.
i will always remember.
you have changed me & made me stronger.
i hate the sound goodbyes make.
but what an experience you have given me.
i love you.
don't worry.
we'll meet again.
{love, me}


.i'm thankful for {you}.

i have loved a lot of things about this summer.
one of my favorite things?
getting to be best friends with this girl again.


.{you} make it beautiful.

sitting here in starbucks by myself,
listening to some of my favorite music,
and thinking about the past few weeks.
my summer has been unbelievable.
some memories are a blur.
others replay in slow motion.
regardless, i'm trying to soak up every moment.
2nd session is now in full swing,
and i'm being challenged in very different ways
from the first half of my summer.
1st session's theme for me was {love}
this session it seems to be {trust}
we have three weeks left, 
and i know the summer is quickly coming to an end.
i'm learning to trust that the Lord
has my next 3 weeks under control.
that i will get enough time with my kids.
that they will learn what He wants them to this summer.
 that He would work and speak through me.
i'm letting go of control because i know it's not in my hands.
i want to live my life to the fullest.
giving my all for the time i have left out here.


.all you need is {love}.

love is all you need.
that's what i've been learning in the mountains of colorado.
loving my [crew] kids
loving our [staff]
and loving my [jesus]
love is what i'm praying for my kids.
that they would love each other
and that they would take the love of {jesus} home with them.
we studied the fruit of the spirit a couple weeks ago
and it was amazing to see how every fruit abides is love.
is it okay if i share something with you? 
okay. here we go.

joy is love's {strength}
peace is love's {security}
patience is love's {endurance}
kindness is love's {conduct}
goodness is love's {character}
gentleness is love's {humility}
faithfulness is love's {confidence}
self control is love's {victory}
that's pretty neat.
everything revolves around love.
and i {love} that.
i'm learning to abide in that fact.
and to abide in my heavenly {father}
speaking of things i love,
here are some of the wonderful people in my life this summer.

and now 1st session is coming to an end.
we're sending our kids back out into the world.
hoping and praying they will {remain} in their Father
and most of all remembering to


.leaving on a jet plane.

it's tomorrow!
{it} being colorado.
i've been dreaming of going back to {elc} since high school.
and in january, i found out that dream was coming true.
and immediately the countdown began.
i feel blessed, humbled, and honored to have this opportunity.
the opportunities and experiences this summer will 
bring have me on the edge of my seat.  
i can't wait to see what God is going to do.

please be praying for me as well as the rest of the staff.
that we would work together as a team,
walking side by side in the Word, 
as we lead and encourage our kids this summer.

and also i'm making a shameless plug for snail mail.
receiving letters at camp is seriously one of the best things ever.
just a few words of encouragement can make the biggest difference.
so if you have time and want to drop me a line, my address is:

megan mcilvaine {crew counselor}
c/o eagle lake camps
p.o. box 6819
colorado springs, co 80934

thank you to my friends who have prayed for me and encouraged me
as i've prepared for my time this summer.
your kind words have meant the world to me.
i love you all.
i will miss you.
stay in touch.
see you soon then.



hola amigos.
sorry i took a leave of absence after the royal wedding.
it's work all day and preparing for colorado in the evenings.
{12} days!!
eeek! so much to do!
here's an update on the past few days...

core group sleepover.  my precious bible study girls came over last weekend to hang out, play games, and stay up far too late.  this past year with them has been amazing, and i'm so glad i was given the opportunity to be their leader and their friend.  and 3 cheers for pen pals over the summer! 
love you all very much!
last week i saw a girl carrying a vacuum across campus and it made me think of the movie Once.  and it made me laugh.
the rents left for scotland yesterday and i'm not sure they will ever come back.  mom and dad, i hope you have a wonderfully adventurous time in the land of our ancestors. tell the relatives hey for me.
lately all i do is think of summer. colorado. friends. i can't even express how excited i am to be back in one of my favorite places. the elc.  i can't wait to see how God is going to work this summer...in my life, in the lives of the other staff, and in the lives of our campers.  it is going to be phenomenal.
oh and here's some music for ya.
because lady antebellum has re-entered my life.
and i love this song.
and summer.
and the south.


.today was a {fairytale}.

today a real life fairytale unfolded on my television screen.
what am i talking about?
prince william and kate got married!
what rock have you been living under?

kate was absolutely glowing in her gorgeous dress.
a perfect princess if i do say so myself.
everything about her was delightfully elegant.
and all seemed to go smoothly
{except for a slight problem with kate's ring. hilarious.}
come on, william. put a ring on it.

and then the kiss.
"this kiss! this kiss!"
{sorry. faith hill speaks to me.}

and i cannot stop laughing at precious little grace.
{the girl on the left}
she's obviously disgusted by the kiss
and terrified of the loud airplanes.
don't get me wrong.
i'm very sorry she wasn't having a grand time,
but i'm laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes.
i hope she looks back at these in 15 years and laughs.
this royal day wouldn't have been complete without prince harry.
{my favorite}

and why is he my favorite?
because he peeked while kate walked down the isle.
it was cute.
and because he rides in the kids' carriage.
he probably still sits at the kids' table.
i'm sure they have those at the palace.
he's really just a kid a heart.
and i love that.
prince harry,
we should be friends.

prince william and kate,
i wish only the best for you.


.creation's {symphony}.

"Praise the LORD from the earth,
   you great sea creatures and all deeps,
 fire and hail, snow and mist,
    stormy wind fulfilling his word!
Mountains and all hills,
fruit trees and all cedars!
Beasts and all livestock,
creeping things and flying birds!
Kings of the earth and all peoples,
princes and all rulers of the earth!
Young men and maidens together,
old men and children!"
{psalm 148:7-12}

i spent last night worshipping with 12,000 other people.
including abbey, alison, and laney.
i feel blessed to have had them with me.
it was amazing.
singing my heart out.
praising my Jesus.
worshipping without abandon.
completely free.
louie giglio spoke on the passage above.
we are all a part of God's grand symphony.
singing praises to Him.
each one of us was created with something unique.
something only He can hear.
something that glorifies Him.
and if you think He won't miss you in His symphony,
think again.
louie shared sound clips of stars turning on their axis lightyears away.
one star sounded like the rhythm of a drum.
another sounded like stringed instruments.
and then he played whales singing.
he put all three together and
it was one of the most eery & beautiful things i'd ever heard.
i was speechless.
we seriously have the most amazing Creator!
i stand in awe.

"the hands that flung the stars into space, 
to cruel nails surrendered."

it is finished.
sin is finished.
shame is finished.
guilt is finished.
self-righteousness is finished.
it is finished.


.a list.

i'm 22 years old and i still like to make friendship bracelets. 
thank you, laney.

my bffls came in town last weekend.
{including bethany!}
so glad she got to meet everyone.
we laughed til we cried.
and watched {rio}
you haven't seen it yet?
you should.  hilarious times.

i dreamed of eagle lake.
which in and of itself was a good thing,
except in my dream i forgot to pack important things,
a client from work was chasing me {scary}
i couldn't ever get anywhere on time,
and people weren't talking to each other.

speaking of eagle lake...
colorado in {25} days.
holy cow, batman.
time is flying.
i. can. not. wait.

heading to the atl tomorrow
for Passion's {good friday} service.
i'm taking some pretty cool people with me.
so excited to have this experience together.

over and out.