We'll start with the regular chit chat. How was your day? How was work? Did you see that hilarious Jimmy Fallon video? "Which one?" you'll ask, because they are all hilarious. We'll giggle over all the incredibly hilarious and awkward parts, and I'll laugh so hard tears may run down my face. It feels good to laugh like that.
I'll tell you about work, and how we are entering our super crazy season where I have to remind myself to breathe. Taking it one email and one project at a time. #theofficelife. I'll tell you that the post-Christmas winter is hard for me because there is just not enough sunshine to go around, and girl, do I need my sunshine. Where's that Vitamin D, amiright?
Because I don't always love talking about myself, I'll turn the conversation back to you. I'll ask how you're doing with the big cross-country move coming up this week, or how you are feeling in the midst of what seems like a mid-life crisis, or how your mama's doctor appointment went. I'll grab your hand as the tears and the fears well up, and I'll nod because I have them too, but we'll rest in the promises that Jesus is strong even when we can't be, that he has a plan, and that he is the ultimate healer of our bodies and the redeemer of our souls. And because all of my friends are having babies right now, we'll talk about your baby and how the plans for the nursery are coming along. You might try to get me to spill the beans on all the baby shower planning, but I am like a vault, friend, and you aren't getting any details from me! It is going to be a surprise! :)
You'll ask me about the plans I have for this year. Where I want to go and what I want to accomplish. I'll tell you how excited I am to be in my little sister's wedding next month, standing alongside her and some dear friends as she promises her life to the one she loves. I'll squeal a little when I tell you that in March I'm going to New York to visit a friend I've never actually met in real life, but that I feel like I've known forever. The rest of the year is currently unplanned and I kind of like it that way. I love getting to dream and plan as the year goes along...filling up my calendar with adventures both big and small. I'll say I'm excited to pursue my hobbies more this year by taking a photography class or two, trying my hand at drawing again, and creating quality content for my blog as that space grows. I'm excited to make new friends this year, to strengthen the friendships I've already been given, and to cultivate an encouraging community.
A comfortable silence will settle as we both prepare to dive into what's really weighing on our hearts. The things that go deeper than the every day.
I'll tell you that life weighs heavier some days more than others, and you'll nod your head because you know. I'll laugh at myself when I tell you how I sat on the cold basement floor this weekend, surrounded by old design projects, and cried my eyes out as I looked at reminders of a shattered dream. It was surprisingly emotional and yet freeing to get rid of some of that stuff. Moving on in life and facing the unknown with confidence is a challenging thing to do. I want this year to be one full of grace. Grace that I offer to others and to myself. I want my heart to be gentle and gracious and patient and kind. Those are qualities I have to pray for every single day. I'll tell you that at church on Sunday I was reminded that God is, in fact, more concerned for my well being than I am, even when it doesn't always feel that way. His goodness goes far beyond anything I will ever know. He understands, he accepts, he provides, he carries, he delivers, and I shall not want.
The rain outside has turned into a misty mess. The kind that makes your hair frizzy by just looking at it. I'll sigh and take the last sip of that white chocolate mocha I've been savoring. You'll hug me goodbye, and I'll head home feeling encouraged, a weight lifted, and my heart warmed. I'll text you when I get home just to say thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to spend with me. Your friendship means the world to me, and I certainly don't take it for granted. Thanks for listening, for sharing, and for walking with me on this long and winding adventure called life.